


Trash Talking

by Highlander_II



Series: H2's fan_flashworks [39]
Category: Rescue Me (US TV)
Genre: Community: fan_flashworks, Gen, disguises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-17 16:06:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11855049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highlander_II/pseuds/Highlander_II
Summary: Tommy is spying on his soon-to-be-ex-wife and not doing it very well.





	Trash Talking

"T, what are you doin'?"

"Geezus!" Tommy startled and nearly fell off the trashcan he was standing on. His fingers gripped at the window ledge. "This - this isn't really a good time, Jimmy."

Jimmy leaned against the wall. "Is there a better time than when you're tryin' to snoop on your estranged wife?" The bastard seemed pretty pleased with himself.

Tommy tried to ignore the ghost of his dead cousin so he could see inside the house. He was trying to see what Janet was doing. Who she had over for dinner. It wasn't working. He could feel Jimmy just lurking there. The image of him in the corner of his eye. He scrunched up his face and quietly snarled at Jimmy, "Will you just - go away."

"Tommy, what is this that you're wearing?" Jimmy asked. "Is this you undercover?" He waved at the ridiculous outfit Tommy had on - what looked like overalls and rubber boots.

"I'm trying to keep a low profile."

"Yeah? Well, you suck at it."

"Oh, and why's that?"

Jimmy looked him up and down. "For one thing, you're dressed as a gardener or farmer Ben or some shit."

"Right, I'm dressed like a gardener. I'm over here - gardening. And I need to make sure that I'm not being too - too loud and that the garden matches the - uh - the kitchen."

"Bull. Shit. Tommy," Jimmy spat. "It's after dark. What the hell gardening happens in the dark?"

Tommy smirked down at Jimmy from his perch atop the trashcans. "I was over here earlier and I came back after I went to - to the garden store to get some - some more uh stuff."

"You know it's April, right? It's going to snow tomorrow."

"What? It is not going to snow tomorrow," Tommy countered, even as light flakes of what might have been snow started to land on his nose. "This snow is as real as you are."

Jimmy shrugged and let out a heavy sigh. "And you needed to climb on the garbage cans because...?" He wasn't buying Tommy's story at all.

"I told you - I'm making sure it goes with the kitchen. Now get the hell out of here so I can finish what I'm doing."

"Tommy, get down from there and go the hell back home before you do something stupid."

Angry, Tommy whirled to throw a punch at Jimmy's ghost, only for his foot to slip and him to tumble off the cans and land on his ass on the cold driveway. "Dammit," he swore under his breath and the clatter of metal trashcans.

The porch light flicked on. In his panic, Tommy kicked the trashcans, making even more noise, as he scrambled to his feet and ran toward the darker section of the yard so he could cut across through the neighbor's yard. He looked back over his shoulder and tripped over his own feet when he saw Jimmy running to catch up to him.

"Goddammit, Jimmy," he whispered at the apparition and got back to his feet, slowing to a brisk walk.

Meanwhile, Jimmy was laughing his ass off. "Oh man. You should've seen your face."

"You think you're so funny," Tommy growled through his teeth. "If there's ever the chance, I'm going to kick your ass. I don't care if there's no fightin' in heaven..." He continued muttering to himself as he made the quick walk back down the block to his house and went inside. His phone started to ring as he stepped inside. "What?" he spat.

"Tommy," Janet spoke quickly at him, "I think someone's outside the house. Can you come take a look?"

He sighed and rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "Hang on, I'll look out the window." He stepped up to the window and twitched the curtains aside. He could see his estranged wife standing in the window, looking out across the street. "There's no one there, Janet."

"I know I heard something."

"It was probably just a racoon or a cat or something. If you're really concerned, call the cops. They handle that sort of thing. If you set the house on fire, then call me, m'kay?" He snapped his phone shut and fell into the couch.


End file.
